Sometimes I lose sleep because I’m so curious about the uncertain, unclear dreams I create when I’m awake.
And I wonder if my waking dreams are any more feasible than my sleeping dreams.
Once, after I fell asleep, a door to a house appeared where there wasn’t one before. I was invited to go in and learn things I hadn’t known while awake. I was disappointed by what I learned.
Once, when I was awake, I filled a house that wasn’t mine with people and laughter and warmth.
Both dreams were vivid. Both dreams were in color. Both dreams manifested, to a notable extent, in real life.
It’s good to dream, isn’t it?
Yes – and no.
I don’t know.
Sometimes dreaming seems futile. Sometimes it feels like wrong dreams come true. Other times, the dreams I thought were right never had a place in my life, and then I wonder if I can even trust myself to dream.
But, despite sundry wrestling matches with disappointment, the manifestation of both dreams ultimately wrought joy. Not just for myself but for others. It must be good to dream – and I think it’s important to learn how to dream well.
So I asked a friend how to dream and she gave me the only answer that made sense: “In color. Wildly. Boldly. Compassionately. Fiercely. Filled with love for all of God’s creation.”
And the reason it made so much sense is not because it’s an obvious answer (it’s not) or because it’s a wise answer (it is), but because it’s exactly how she dreams and lives and, coming from her, anything less would have been inconsistent and inauthentic.
So now I ask You, God: How do You want me to dream? How do I avoid the pain and wasted time of fruitless dreams? How do I dream in a way that seeks Your kingdom and its righteousness instead of my will?
“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” – Proverbs 16:9 (ESV)
“You make us happy when we look for You. Satisfaction only happens to those who are glad in you.” – Jackie Hill Perry (“Art of Joy”)